January 6th - Sophi's appointment!

After waiting almost 3 years the day had finally came! January 6th was the day the kids and I drove up to Children's hospital to see if the hole in Sophi's heart had closed. After so long it was finally here! Wow!

The 3 of us get to the hospital and while sitting in the waiting room I noticed how so many of the people sitting around me are there for a "real" reason! I felt like we were there for this tiny little hole and it was being made a huge deal when most of the children in the room are in wheel chairs or fighting for their life....who was I to be here? I felt like we were completely out of place and had no right to be at that hospital! We got called back into our room pretty quick and they did there normal checks to listen to her heart and the doctor told me that she sounded great! Hole free and healed but wanted to be sure of it so we needed to do a echo.

While waiting in the heart room for Sophi's echo we met a family from Greenville,IL and they seemed like such a amazing family! Sophi and Tanor loved there little girl named Maddie ....which was great to have a friend to play with since we had to wait 1 in a half hours to get the echo done!  Seriously, by this point I would normally have been ripping my hair out for the kids going crazy...but God must have known I couldn't handle it because the kids did amazing! I was in awe...

The echo...Sophi hated and screamed most of the time(either lack of sleep or food) she was not liking this test at all, but the lady scanning here was AMAZING! She made Sophi calm down right away before it got out of control! She had a way with both my kids that I have never seen in a tech before! Once we finished with the scan we got escorted back to the "conference room" which right away worried me something was going down but didn't know what was to come!

The doctor came in shortly after and told us that he had bad and good news(not what you ever want to hear)!  Sophi's hole did not close up any at all and continued to be the same size as it was when she was less then a year old. The good news was she couldn't have surgery because her heart was not enlarged or inflamed and due to the nature of the location of the hole it makes surgery more risky so he needed to be 100 percent certain surgery was a complete fix for her.

I was feeling mixed emotions at this point until I decided to ask him if there was anything I needed to be worried about and he said "I don't believe you will have any issues but you need to be prepared in case something happens because it will get dangerous quickly".  Freaking out at this point! I mean what am I supposed to do wrap her in bubble wrap? How do I prevent her heart from racing or prevent a stroke? I have no control over that!! GRR!

Remember at the beginning of this post when I said it was just a tiny hole? Well this tiny hole could take my daughters life...

Wow, what a feeling it is to know something can happen at any moment and you have no control over the situation! God is in control( I know that, I feel that) but sometimes its just so hard...


We needed a little "fun" before driving home so the kids and I ran over to the Science center...this is the first time I have done anything like this without Tyler but I am so glad i got to enjoy this with them...sometimes memories are all we have.... We had such a great time and the trip altogether was amazing! Besides the news...we got there and back safely, got to enjoy a nice outing together and when we got home Tyler and the dogs where there to welcome us back(with supper waiting)!